Zamboni treatment

The surgery is done. What a relief!

As you can imagine, I was pretty nervous about the surgery yesterday. Frank and I met with Dr. Cedars before so she could inform us of the procedure, what to expect, and sign consent forms. She also answered a few of our questions about the upcoming FET (frozen embryo transfer) scheduled for the end of January.

I had a hysteroscopy, where the doctor uses this device that fills my uterus with water, scrapes off the polyps and films the entire event. This device is as wide as the top of a pen cap, but does so much. I started off with a valium and a vicodin mix. That just took the edge off my nerves. They hooked me up to an IV and gave me my first wheelchair ride to the operating room. I was hooked up to monitors and then I laid down on the table.

The nurse put on jazz music while the doctor prepped me. The nurse was such an amazing support and good drug pusher, too. She said the moment it hurts at all, let us know and we'll give you something. It was like a sudden shock of cramps, in the 6 to 7 (out of 10) pain rate. They gave me Phenol for the pain through my IV. That took the pain away, and I basically floated through the rest of the procedure. They kept me busy by talking to me the entire time about Christmas, gifts, parties...

Dr. Cedars discovered some fibroids as well as the polyps. Fibroids are pretty common in people my age, and they are non-cancerous tumors. She removed those along with the polyps. I have a very smooth uterus now, and we saw the pictures to prove it. Frank called it the Zamboni treatment.

I had no pain after the procedure was done. I have instructions to lay off the intense exercise for two weeks. I have the post-op appointment on January 9.

So, this is the last post of the year. Thank you for all your love and support this year on my journey through the IVF world. Next year, we begin the FET procedures. We will have two of our "chillins" transferred at the end of January. We are hopeful!

Merry Everything.
Happy New Year.
xo.
Lisa

Surgery Day

It's the morning of the surgery and I have 30 minutes until the official count down begins. I can't eat 4 hours prior to the surgery. I have to be at the doctor's at 1 p.m. for pre-operation preparation. 2 p.m. is the surgery for the removal of the polyp. It should take about an hour. I will be given Vicodin and Valium to get through it. 

I'm nervous as I have to be awake during the procedure. I hope that it is relatively painless. I hope that there are no new polyps.

Send along your positive vibes. I'll update later with the post-op.

Christmas Wish

Dear Santa...

I've been good(ish) this year. I worked on my patience. I still believe.  While you probably can't get me what I'd like for Christmas this year, if you could put in a good word with Father Time for the New Year, I would appreciate it.

Love,
Lisa

ten

I had some good news from the doctor. Ten of our embryos were frozen. I could hardly believe the news when I heard it over the phone. 10! Seriously?!? 10.

Each embryo is given a score - 1, 2, 3 - 1 being the best. They are also given a cell count and this needs to be greater than 6. We had a 1-12, 2-10, 2-9, and 7 other strong ones that were frozen. I'm thrilled. Frank is thrilled. This means that I will not have to stimulate my follicles again. A round of freezing only requires minimal amount of shots and other medications. The next round of implantation will happen in January. We have 10 for the doctor to choose from.

When I heard the news, I finally felt like there was hope again. I had been feeling so bummed out from finding the polyp, and the further delays, that I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't want anything to do with anything baby related. ANYTHING! Christmas catalogs made me cry because here was another holiday where I didn't have my own children to buy gifts for. Nor was there even the hope of children. It just simply sucked.

Now there is hope. This doesn't mean I'm going to buy my embryos tiny stockings with flakes of candy canes in them. But the possibility is there that one of these 10 will be our child. I felt a sense of rejuvenation that we were still on the right path. My body reacted the way it was supposed to react to the medication.

That being said, I'm still recovering from the retrieval. It's been 6 days and I'm still having pain in my lower abdomen. As the doctor mentioned, they had to move my uterus around to get to my ovaries. And, upon recovery, my ovaries may be resting on my colon which is a source of pain. Every day I'm getting stronger, but I'm not 100%.

But it was all worth it because we have 10 little embryos. 10! So, light a candle. Click your heels. Drink a cosmopolitan (because you can). Whatever you do, celebrate for us. You know we will this holiday season!

Thank you for your positive thoughts.
xo

Update - 24 post retrieval

24 hours past retrieval and we have 12 of our 13 eggs fertilized. This is a great start. We will hear back from the doctor's either Tuesday or Wednesday on how many will make it to be frozen.

I'm still in a bit of pain tonight. I had a call from the doctor explaining that the cramping and other side effects are normal. I went home from work early today to relax. Just walking around the office was killing me. My lower abs are in a bit of pain.

Here's to a restful night of sleep.

xo

After the retrieval

I had the retrieval on Sunday morning. The doctors were able to harvest 13 eggs. Last time there were only 5 eggs. We were pretty excited with the results. The more eggs that I have the more chances that there are for fertilization. I will be getting a call today from the doctor informing me of how many eggs were fertilized. The eggs that reach day 3 will be frozen.

After I woke up, I heard from the doctor that my left follicles were behind my uterus, so they had to move some things around to get those eggs out. Wow - did I ever feel that one. I'm still very crampy this morning, but I'm able to get some relief from Ibuprofen.

I'm going to work today. Thanks again for all the positive energy this weekend.
xo

Sunday morning retrieval

Tomorrow, I am to report to the doctor's office at 7 a.m. for a 7:30 a.m. retrieval appointment. I am glad to know that my body is on the right track here. The last visit on Friday was positive. They said that the follicles were all growing at about the same rate and it was likely they would get more eggs this time than last time. At least, this is what they hope. I took my last shots last night. I'm glad that the shots are behind me, for now.

The IVF retrieval process requires that I go under anesthesia through an IV. The entire process takes about 30 to 45 minutes. The doctors aspirate the eggs from my follicles. The eggs are then sent to the lab to be injected with one strong swimmer each. This process is called ICSI (pronounced ick-see). At some point during my recovery, they will tell us how many eggs they retrieved. The project about three days of fertilization before they freeze our strongest embryos. Hopefully, we've got at least 2.

Frank will be there with me in the recovery room until I feel good enough to stand up. Last time, this took me nearly 1.5 hours. After wards, we will probably get a bite to eat and then come home to recover. Feel free to send some good vibes, love and plenty of fertilization thoughts our way tomorrow.

I'm so thankful that you read my blog and care about our journey.
xo

The waiting game

Well, it's been quite a ride this week. I have had an estrogen blood test and ultrasound for three days in a row, and it's looking like I'll have a fourth tomorrow. I have 14-sih follicles growing, but my estrogen levels are not increasing like the doctors would expect them to with the number of follicles. Each follicle should be producing close to 200 on the estrogen scale. My test from yesterday resulted in 514. The doctors would expect it to be closer to 2000 right now. The doctors will confer today and figure out when I will take the trigger shot to ovulate today. It may be tonight or it may be tomorrow night. The retrieval will be two days later - Saturday or Sunday.

For the retrieval, they are hoping to get the most amount of eggs possible from my follicles. By delaying the trigger shot, the doctors envision retrieving more mature eggs than I had last time. The doctor this morning said that my body may just be slower to produce the estrogen, but they want to be careful that I don't ovulate on my own. If that was to happen, the entire IVF procedure would be called off. As much of an exact science that this is, there is still the unknown. My body definitely runs on it's own clock.

Because I have a polyp, they are going to just freeze the strongest embryos. The polyp will be removed sometime in December. We will go through a reduced amount of medication in December and the transfer will happen in January. This means no baby in 2011. 

I'm going through the motions as prescribed by the doctors. I'm not giving up on this process. But, I'm exhausted, frustrated, and bloated. I just feel like rolling up in a ball and crying. This is about the toughest time that I've been through so far in this entire process. I'm glad that I have a job to distract me from my emotions. I watch funny movies or TV shows so I can release some healthy laughter. I'm so glad that I have Frank to keep me focused on the end goal. He has been super supportive during this time which is helpful, since I know that he is also experiencing his own rollercoaster of emotions, too.

Keep thinking positive thoughts for us.

xo.

Unusual behavior

I had an ultrasound and Estrogen blood test on Sunday. The doctor counted 16 healthy follicles and found one potential polyp. The polyp is a benign growth on my uterus lining, that usually develops as a side effect from the medication. She wasn't 100% sure that it was it so Tuesday's doctor appointment will confirm what she saw.

If it is a polyp, I will move forward with the retrieval. The eggs will be implanted, but the strong ones will be frozen. The polyp will have to be removed in a few weeks. The transfer would happen in January. While this is less than ideal, the polyp prevents implantation. I need to be in optimal condition. I'll definitely update after the appointment.

In other unusual news, we are nearly out of the medication we need to get through this week. In fact, I've almost run out of the Follistim, having only 50 and 75 IUI left in 3 jars. I need 225 IUI per night. Luckily, Craigslist saved the day. I found a couple selling a couple of vials of Follistim for nearly $100 less per 300 IUI than what I pay for the pharmacy through UCSF. Frank & I are meeting them at the Starbucks in Westlake tomorrow night. They will be the couple carrying the cooler keeping our medication cold. "Two Follistim Frappuccino's, please."

When I talked to the woman online, she let me know that the medication comes with good karma. She is 13 weeks pregnant. It's the little things like this that I hold onto - luck, karma, and hope. Ironic, when this is all controlled by science, right? Either way, I'll take this moment as a positive one.

xo

And I'm back in the game

The wait is over. Thank goodness because I was starting to lose my mind, seen by my frequent bouts of crying. I was feeling sad because I didn't have a body clock I could count on, this month, or at all, so far, for a baby. With each passing day I felt more detached from this round of IVF, especially compounded by the possibility of having a cyst. Needless to say, all of my frustration and sadness was outwardly apparent in tears upon seeing little kids dressed up for Halloween.

Needless to say, the shots still needed to happen - whether I was happy or sad. We were about to leave for a Halloween party, so I did the injections early.

Well, I've flipped the calendar. My "." arrived on Halloween. I received the all clear, no cysts confirmation from the doctor on Tuesday. I started with the next round of medication last night - Follistim and Menopur. Both of these medications have increased in dosage and I presume the side effects will also increase. At this point, the earliest date of the retrieval will be 11/11/11.

In other good news, my friend, Karen*, who is also going through her first round of IVF, will have her retrieval this Thursday. It's been helpful to have a partner during this time who is going through such an amazing experience. Both of our doctor's have similar instruction, but some thing vary by clinic. Either way, both clinics have had positive outcomes. We are just so blessed to have each other.

Send positive vibes to SF and NY this week!
xo


*Name has been changed to reflect what she uses at Starbucks.

Waiting

It's Saturday morning and I'm waiting for my "." to arrive. It's officially 4 days late and I'm not pregnant, which is fine since I've been taking Lupron. I talked with the doctor. It's possible that the delay could be a cyst which is a side effect of the previous cycle of IVF. The cyst is expected to naturally release itself from me when I get my "." The Lupron should be helping with this release, too. If it hasn't released by Monday, I'll have to go in to the doctor's to run some tests.

Cyst - a sac of fluid with abnormal character, according to dictionary.com. It's in my body, preventing my period, and it has an odd personality. According to another site about 15% of women who have a poor IVF outcome develop cysts. I've been lucky so far that this is the only side effect that we've had.

So, I'm left to wait. This will push back my entire calendar even further, nearly having me do the retrieval and transfer closer to Thanksgiving. It is what it is, but it is frustrating. Thankfully, I have an entire weekend of activities in front of me to keep me occupied.

., please.

xo

Big girl pants

I started my shots of Lupron two nights ago. Frank coached me on how to do it alone as he is going to be gone for a day next week and I will be traveling. I did it! It was not a big deal after all because we use ice to numb the area before I get a shot.

Last night, I injected myself again. I am proud. I feel like I'm wearing my big girl pants (and panties, for that matter).

This time around already feels easier than last time because I know what to expect. I'm glad that part of the stress is gone.

Keep thinking positive and fertile thoughts.

And so it begins...

My calendar arrived for the next round. I start my Lupron shots this Wednesday. I will have my retrieval around the first week in November. The transfer will happen 3 - 5 days after that. We should know the results by Thanksgiving.

 Every day I see someone who is pregnant, watch a show where someone wants to be pregnant, or find out a friend just had a baby. I'm ready for it to be me. This week, I attended a boat party where there was a psychic. She saw a boy and a girl in our future. If only I could count on that! All I can do is believe. 

BELIEVE!
xo

It's a sign

It's been just over two weeks since we found out the news on the first round. It's been full of ups and downs and a curiosity of where we are headed in creating our family. We are going to try again, which makes me feel positive. On the downside, I have concerns that maybe this is going to take longer to become parents than I had envisioned. We have been trying for two years. Statistically speaking, this should take us up to three tries before we should consider an alternative, such as adoption. Our goal is to be parents, so one way or another, we will have some children. My focus right now is on this next round and the path to a positive and healthy pregnancy.

After speaking with the doctor, she decided to change my protocol. I'm not taking birth control pills and I will stop taking lupron a little earlier this time. She expects that I will produce more eggs with this change. Looking ahead, the estimated date of retrieval is in the first week of November. The transfer will be just a few days after that.

Having gone through the last round, I have a better idea of what to expect. I expect to be more relaxed. I'll take a few extra days off to just stay at home. I will create a zen environment on the couch. I'll be available to talk on the phone, watch a movie at home, and shop online. Overall, I'll be slowing down just a bit more. I'm actually looking forward to it.

Finally, last night, I was walking down Van Ness and came across this alley.

It's a sign. I mean that in both ways.

xo

Not what we hoped for...

The test results were 2. This means that I am not having a baby this time. I was pregnant, but something prevented the pregnancy from sticking. 

Frank and I spent most of the weekend preparing for this news. We definitely grieved. We are resilient, though, and will persevere. Our focus is our family. 

Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers over the last eight weeks. We are going to continue to ask for your positive and fertile thoughts as we embark on the next (and hopefully final) round of IVF. 

I will update again when I hear from the doctor on the next cycle. 

xo

Mixed reviews

Technically speaking, I'm pregnant. But the results are mixed.

I had the blood test on Thursday morning. The results were 15 for my hCG level, which tests for this pregnancy hormone in my system. By this time the number should be closer to 100. The number is supposed to double every day. I have to go test again on Monday to see if the number has increased. If the number has increased, we could be on a path to a successful pregnancy. If the number stays the same or decreases this means that I likely had a bio-chemical pregnancy. The doctor said that she has seen successful pregnancies from such a low hCG start, so we're staying positive until we get the results on Monday.

A bio-chemical pregnancy, while it sounds like a false positive, means that there was conception but it results in a very early miscarriage. The biochemical pregnancy usually occurs because of chromosomal abnormalities in the developing baby. It was likely that this is what happened to me in May as well, given the symptoms that I had at that time.

While the results are not conclusive, I'm remaining realistically hopeful. I do feel a sense of calm having taken the test. Regardless of the outcome of this cycle, Frank and I remain focused on having children. Please keep us in your thoughts. xo

Our first photo

On the day of the transfer, we received the photo of the two embryos implanted in me. These received a high grade on their fertilization. We call them Frick & Frack.

Less than a week to go!

The two week wait is long, especially when sleep is not on my side. Stress from work, combined with hormones surging through my body made for some restless and sleepless nights. The doctor said I could take Unisom without harming any growing babies. Last night was my first night of solid sleep. I'm hoping for another here tonight.

My test date is Friday. I keep seeing the + sign in my mind. I just have the positive feeling that we're pregnant. I hope you see it too.

xo

The Transfer

It has been three days since retrieval of the five eggs. Three eggs fertilized. Two eggs will be put inside me today. The third one is frozen.

Here is the plan for today. I take a Valium at 1 p.m. This is used to relax my muscles. I must arrive with a full bladder, drinking somewhere between 12 and 24 ounces of water before the appointment. It sounds like a recipe for disaster - muscle relaxer and full bladder?!?

The appointment is at 2 p.m. It is very similar in procedure as the IUI - except I am under the influence of Valium and we're in the IVF clinic. The procedure will probably take about 3 minutes. I need to lay there in the office for 10 - 20 minutes. We should be incubating Huey and Duey by 2:30. Luey will be frozen. I hope he is frozen for research only. I am looking for a one time success.

My visualizations show me as a pregnant woman, creating a progress photo shoot of my growing belly. I also see us coming home from the hospital with babies in our arms. I also had visions of kids cleaning the house for me.

Keep me in your thoughts, prayers, wishes, or whatever you do today. Smile at a pregnant lady...thinking one day you will be smiling at my pregnant belly.

xo

Retrieval Day

My retrieval appointment is at 9:30. We are nearly ready to leave the house. I haven't eaten or drank anything since midnight. My belly feels really full and bloated, though, so it will be good to get this procedure done.

Frank will be with me the entire time. We are both very excited.

Thank you for your positive, fertile thoughts.

xo~

a shot of madness

Tonight was my last shot. I wanted to share the amount of paraphernalia that is used in one night with three shots. There are mixing needles, vials of powder that need to be mixed with the vials of liquid, boxes of medication, and instructions on paperwork to follow. The good news is that tonight was the last night. I will be taking progesterone through suppositories. And just like that, the stress of shots is gone.

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval day. I will be missing work. I will be put under anesthesia for a period of time. I'll recover at home. The appointment is at 9:30 A.M.

Once they take the eggs out of me, they will begin growing in the lab for a few days. It will either be three or five days later when they transfer back the 2 viable embryos.

Think positive, healthy babies!

xo

The view down there...

I must repost this humorous, yet very truthful blog:

Remember the good old days when you had a pap smear and only ONE doctor looked into your lady parts? Those were the days. During your fertility journey, you now have an assortment of doctors, interns, nurses, ultrasound technicians examining your lower region. It’s like a party down there.

As if going for fertility treatments wasn’t awkward enough, why must everyone in your city get to examine your lady parts on a daily basis? As you spread your legs during your ultrasound appointment, a doctor, a nurse, an intern and the person who writes down everything the doctor says, is usually in the room. And don’t expect the doctor to even know your name. You are probably just known as Vagina Number 3004.

The IVF Transfer is no better, except that even more people seem to be in the room, enjoying the view. “Hey, Isn’t that Doogie Howser over there?” “Oh look, even the secretary came by for the show!” For the IVF transfer – the transfer of the fertilized embryo back into the uterus – half the population seems to be in the room. “Hey, isn’t that your Great Aunt Agnes? I’m glad you could make it.” In some clinics, they also shine a bright light directly into your lady parts. Who is the star of the show now? This is not a broadway musical starring your vagina, you know. But you would let the entire cast of Glee come into that ultrasound appointment if it meant it would get you pregnant.

Number of people that have seen your lady parts during your fertility appointments: 10-20
Number of interns that have enjoyed your transvaginal wand show: 15-20
Getting pregnant from a fertility treatments: Priceless

***fingers crossed...legs aren't.***

Getting closer!

I have 20 follicles. That is twice the normal amount of follicles that doctors hope a patient has. The doctor said I'm doing better than they expected. I was relieved to hear this, especially after having 3 shots a night.

The side effects of these shots include bloating and a constant feeling as though I have to go to the bathroom. TMI!

Saturday, I have another appointment - ultrasound and blood test. I'll be sure to update everyone when I hear the results.

I appreciate that you've been following my story. xo.

1...2...3...shots your out!

The protocol has kicked up a notch from one shot to three shots a night. The procedure now takes us about 15 minutes, start to finish to complete the shots. The first shot is the easiest, as we've been doing that one for a week. The second shot uses a pen, and it's OK. The third shot requires mixing and switching a vile of fluid. It's complicated, but we get it now. I still dread the nightly needles at 10, although they're not that painful.

I've also had two estrogen blood tests. Friday's test was 20. 20???? What does it mean? Today's test was 35. I was told that it means that my estrogen has increased since Friday. I hope that the nurse didn't fail that part of the exam - logic and math. "There is no number that we're aiming for since the doctor just wants it to increase."

I bet that the doctor IS looking for a number and I WILL understand it on Thursday when I see the doctor. In this case, ignorance is not bliss.

Just so you know, the soonest that I could have my transfer is Sunday. I'll have 48 hours notice of this procedure.

What a relief

I made it through the nausea. After talking through my status with the doctor, she said that it was likely a side effect of the birth control pills combined with the Lupron injections. Sunday was the last day of the birth control pills, and the nausea wore off by Wednesday morning. I gave the doctor a word of caution - if nausea is only affected by 0.000001% of the population, I'm going to be that person.

Baseline Ultrasound:
Monday's doctor appointment included my first estrogen blood draw and baseline ultrasound.
Estrogen = 20 - perfect number to let them know I'm good candidate for IVF. That's a good thing since we had to pay.
Baseline Ultrasound - examined my uterus lining for cysts, (none), and counted my follicles - 10. They only hope for 3. I'm good.

Medication education:
Lupron - used to suppress two hormones normally used to increase the size of my follicles for ovulation.
Birth Control Pills - used to actively control my cycle.
Follistim and Menopur - the combination of the two are going to help stimulate ALL of my follicles to hopefully produce eggs.

Medication plan for the week:
Lupron shots - every night until further notice. This is my 8th night of Lupron.
Follistim and Menopur - starts on Friday night. These stimulate my follicles to grow, grow, grow.

We're moving right along on the plan. Things look good. My attitude is positive. And I've got lots of love and support.

xo.

Side Effects

The side effects of Lupron have hit me hard. Last night was shot #5. Unfortunately, I've got some serious side effects - nausea and head aches. The doctor's office has a weekend hot line so I was able to confirm that this is normal. Lupron creates a deficiency in estrogen, which can cause nausea and head aches. It's fairly debilitating and I fear what this means for the next few months of my life, if I get pregnant.

We have our baseline ultrasound today. We will also be paying for the IVF procedure today, too. It's a big day in the Leach household.

Jumping for Joy

Today, I jumped out of an airplane. This was on my list as the one thing to do before having kids. Something that I didn't want to have to consider AFTER having kids. I think that I'll be ready to do just about anything else after kids. In fact, I will be encouraging my kids to take such a leap of faith.


FUTURE MOM!

PS: Frank had a good time too.

Injection Preparation

Thursday, Frank & I attended the injection seminar. Two hours of instruction on which needles to use and how to use them. It was a hands on experience, as we each got to practice with a very small needle in our bellies. Here is the grab bag we received during class.

From

I also had to order my medication which I will be taking for the next 5 weeks. It was shipped overnight in a refrigerated box. I will be taking Lupron, Menopur, Progesterone, and a few others. The entire set of medication filled our kitchen table. You can even notice our needle disposal box that was included with the package.

From

Injections of Lupron begin on Wednesday. Thankfully, I'll be back from NYC in time for Frank to assist me!

Check the box

Before receiving the green light for the IVF procedure, every patient is given a long list of things to complete. The list includes blood work, ultrasounds, mammogram, daily vitamins, counseling, orientations for injections and other procedures, and a course of anti-biotics. Today, I checked the box the last item - a saline sonogram. This involves the doctor using a camera to ensure that I have no polyps or cysts in my uterus.

During the procedure, I was examined by the resident while one of the main doctors ensured that the analysis was accurate. Frank sat by my side, as he is actively involved in this entire process. I glanced at the ceiling and counted the moments until it was over. I knew I was clear of any cysts when the doctor stated, "nice cavity."

Seriously? That doctor must've missed the exam on beside manners.

Amazon needs a new category

I found this quote on a very humorous (if you're going through fertility issues) website today:

INSIGHTFUL, LONG LOST FRIEND: "Wow, I didn’t know you were married that long. How many kids do you have?"

ME: "None. They’re on backorder. I ordered them, like, forever ago. I don’t know, they must be out of stock."

I think Amazon needs a new category on their homepage.

And so it begins...

It's day 7 into my cycle. Ironically, I've started taking birth control pills, which are used to control my cycle. From this point forward, my body is completely controlled by the medical professionals at UCSF and the loads of hormones I'll be consuming over the next 8 weeks. I have some understanding of my journey, although it will all be defined after I have my saline sonogram. More on that procedure after I have it.

I'm excited about this leg of the journey, although it took a long time to get to this point. We've spent a lot of money, time and energy on creating a family. I'm hopeful that this procedure is successful.

At one point, I wanted everyone to eat eggs or plant a seed while thinking of me. At this time, it's truly up to you to do something in my honor of creating a family. I'll take whatever I can get...just make me fertile, Myrtle!